The Fig Tree

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” -Sylvia Plath

My all time favorite quote. The first time I read this quote I imagined it was myself, not Esther, in the crotch of that fig tree; grabbing desperately at different futures under a palpable pressure of time and limitations set forth by my gender and maintained by society. I could relate. I have many interests: drawing, psychology, acting, traveling, and of course writing, to name a few, but I had to choose one. My choice to pursue a doctorate in psychology was as much a choice made out of personal interest as it was out of necessity. It was the only option that had the prospect of financial stability and simultaneous self-fulfillment, but I didn’t want my other interests to drop dead at my feet the moment I declared my major in college. So instead, I’ve tried to gather each fig as I see them slip from the tree like a frantic juggler at a carnival. To that end, I've self-published a novel, generated a decent collected of artwork, and traveled to over 15 countries. 

Philosophy: Life is what YOU make it.